shutupimscrolling:


welcome to tumblr

shutupimscrolling:

welcome to tumblr

(via officialwhitegirls)


masturntbate:

*sends you a platonic nude*

(via okay)


midesko:

Retail jobs summed up

midesko:

Retail jobs summed up

(via crystallized-teardrops)


troyesivan:

mom please can I have 50,000 dollars and a popsicle

(via pishposhspice)


notlostonanadventure:

bewbin:

if u were dating a FBI agent and you dumped him.

he would be ur fed ex 

I hope the NSA people scanning my blog got a chuckle out of that

(via okay)


imnotocake:

do you ever just want to redecorate your bedroom and change your hair and all your clothes and completely reinvent yourself but then realise it takes time and money then retreat to your bed and hate who you are

(via spinach)


girlwholovesdragons:

temperamentalheavingheart:

thinkthatthetimehascome:

ianoshea:

jocundasykes:

welcome-foolishmortals:

I HAVEN’T LAUGHED THIS HARD IN THREE YEARS I AM HAVING AN ASTHMA ATTCK

ICH WEINE

The one about the dudes penis being stuck is like a poem

THESE TOOK ME LIKE TEN MINUTES TO GET THROUGH I WAS CRYING AT EACH ONE

this post is terrifyingly funny when your high.

homohotlips69

Holy shit I am dying from laughter

(via tortillah)



ohioisonfiire:

I’ve met some pricks in my time but you are the fucking cactus.

(via sniffing)


shrineart:

quietzombiegirl:

everyone’s grandparents seem to have really cute stories of how they met, and like my grandparents met when my grandma was running away from police during a protest and she jumped on the back of my grandads motorcycle and just screamed “DRIVE FUCKING DRIVE”

I dunno man I think that story’s pretty fuckin cute.

(via revolution-of-the-nerds)